Ugh. How bad things are sometimes.
I feel so utterly gloomy right now, for not pleasing myself with my grades, or maybe for disappointing my mother yet again.
I feel sad because I always put myself down, and the fact that I always let the pressure and my emotions get the best in me, thus preventing me to be a better person.
I also feel disappointed to myself for not having this thing called self confidence. Maybe I have somewhere, but I am just so pessimistic or afraid to show the world what I got, because of my thinking that it might disappoint someone or they won't going to like it.
Or the fact that I always feel that there's no one behind my back to support me or love me.
And I am not holding on to promises lately. They suck ass sometimes.
They just sometimes gives you false hope, and thus disappointing you and hurting your feelings.
But still... I am thankful despite of all the shit and ups and downs. I know there was still my family to appreciate me, or my dearest friends (even though I think some of them don't consider me as one though) I love you all.
PS: to Dian, Ian, RM, Gel, Kit and Pat. Thanks for the advises earlier. You guise rock. :* :)
I feel so utterly gloomy right now, for not pleasing myself with my grades, or maybe for disappointing my mother yet again.
I feel sad because I always put myself down, and the fact that I always let the pressure and my emotions get the best in me, thus preventing me to be a better person.
I also feel disappointed to myself for not having this thing called self confidence. Maybe I have somewhere, but I am just so pessimistic or afraid to show the world what I got, because of my thinking that it might disappoint someone or they won't going to like it.
Or the fact that I always feel that there's no one behind my back to support me or love me.
And I am not holding on to promises lately. They suck ass sometimes.
They just sometimes gives you false hope, and thus disappointing you and hurting your feelings.
But still... I am thankful despite of all the shit and ups and downs. I know there was still my family to appreciate me, or my dearest friends (even though I think some of them don't consider me as one though) I love you all.
PS: to Dian, Ian, RM, Gel, Kit and Pat. Thanks for the advises earlier. You guise rock. :* :)
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