self-worth, or the other way around

Sometimes I feel special. Sometimes not.

But most of the time I always came up with this question: "Do they cherish me like I cherish them?"

Not that I'm saying that I'm completely worthless to them or something, but sometimes I got to ask myself, "Do they really care about me? or love me at least?"

I know this was the result of me lacking self-confidence and such, or something like that.

But there are just times that I am thinking, do they really care about me? or they just consider me as a friend when they need me?

ugh. this is getting so pointless. I'll shut up now.

The Coffee Prince

Hi there Mister Coffee Prince.

You know what? I found you so cute. I don't even know why.

I know you are sort of an ass, but still...

Not that I ~like you on the romantic way, or at least a little crush will do.

But hey, I found you a little secretive inside, perhaps? I'm not sure though.

All I Know that your cute little smile can make someone smile too, or those round cute eyes? I couldn't even say anything more.

Your wittiness, maybe we are able to see them once, twice, just maybe.

And your speaking voice. eeeee. And you looked way younger than your actual age, they say.

And lots of girls like you. You're strangely attractive? I don't know.

I don't even know why I really adore you over the times, I even asked it myself and search for the possible answers, but still...

And also, mister, I want to know if you take relationships like, seriously. Maybe you can?

Or you could at least you know what a girl wants?

Or you could be as loyal as possible?

Or you are not a flirt like some other creatures?

Well maybe if the two of us could be like, friends, true friends, maybe I'll find the answers, but for the meantime I'm okay with these.

Oh. And if we'll be able to see each other Mister Coffee Prince, maybe we could laugh and talk together and inspire me with your pretty eyes and your killer smile.

That is all for now mister.

Lots of love, Me. :)

Inspirations

Do you ever feel inspired? yes I know we all experienced that.

But the fact that someone said that YOU inspired them? Is it different?

I may be giving advices, but until now, I still don't know if I could actually helped them or inspire them at the very least. I don't know if those words I'm saying to them could actually help them or something like that. I don't know if I'm making any sense over those things.

And the fact that someone inspired you? the feeling of it is good as it gets right?

The whole fact that you feel special and light if that certain person flashes a little smile.

The lonely and bad feeling you get when you missed them.

Or the fact that those people shows the best of you. Or the worst.

Or the simple fact that when the thought of that person you're smiling.

And lots of it. When that person makes us better persons, that's inspiration, for me. When that person can make you smile when you're sad, they give you the reasons to live life to the fullest.

That's why some sort of a crush form, I think. Because you are inspired by that person. And it feels like heaven.








(So if you are an ass. Poor you. Just saying.)

~ferociously awkward

Oh. Em. Gee.

Second day of school today. And my ~nickname changed from the infamous Veagurl/Veagarlll to... huh? Barbie Forteza? Cyndi? Inah?

Inah. wow. OMG. It's like comparing a hbw pen to a pilot pen. Like really. While the pilot one is pretty and good and all of awesomeness, the HBW is short, fat(?) and... i dunno. Or like comparing a princess to a village girl or shit.

I dunno who started the whole calling thing, but... ahahahaha I feel weird to the nth level.

I am not pretty nor slim like her. Maybe we both had braces? maybe.

Sorry for these. I'm writing with my self confidence hiding on a rock (as always) and it's all truth, I suppose?


BTW I changed my url here from summerninja to http://elmoriffiicc.blogspot.com/ Thanks classmates for the inspiration ROFL. I've returned it back to summerninja. how weird I am.

I love you all. :) ♥

"He's my musical crush"

"He's my musical crush" or perhaps "I love Lee", those were the lines that Crystal Bowersox said to Lee DeWyze during their run on American Idol right? and those lines may or may not cause people to admire their cute friendship (or maybe speculate their ~romantic lives)


But seriously. I sometimes doubt over the whole he's-my-musical-crush by Crystal and Lee's whole I-will-never-date-her thingy. I mean look, those looks and those checking her out and the whole thing... I am seriously doubting it.

I honestly noticed their budding chemistry during the duets week, when they sang "Falling Slowly" while looking into each others eyes, and when Crystal admitted that Lee is her musical crush, with the side of embarrassed Lee, and I start to adore their little world during the top three results show, when Crystal entered the finale and upon realizing it she rushed into Lee and clings into him.
And I became a hard shipper of them during the finale, when Lee locks the whole thing down to me, while Lee was still not believing that he just won the whole thing moments earlier, when he just said to her, and the world, the three powerful words: "Crystal, I love you" afterwards hugging her. And the whole holding hands thing even before the winner's announcement.

And the whole leaning thingy, before I forgot. Flailtime:
And the post Idol interviews just made things better. The all "I love him/her to death" and so on and so forth. Aaaaaaaaaaand the whole break up thing between Crystal and her bf during the final performance day.

I know there's a possibility that they won't date like, y'know? couples, but a girl/fangirl can dream right? yes. And I beLEEve that they would, like they'll be married and had lots of Danny Gokey babies (oops, that's for leedrew. ROFL.)

(PS: My father ships them too! he's still believing that the two are just hiding their ~relationship to the public eye, he even explained to mother how they are couples last dinner. heh.)

And to end this ridiculously long post, I have a little caption-a-pic for y'all;

Ryan: So, the two of you will going to start going to school starting on Tuesday, and the two of you will be classmates, once again.

Crystal: OH FUCK TO THE YES SCHOOL!

Lee: DNW (do not want) school. meh.

OR:

Ryan: So, Crystal got the highest grades while Lee, uh, sorry, you didn't.

Crystal: oh yes I did it! woohoo he'll be proud!

Lee: uhh, I'm not suprised.



OK This gets lamer and lamer. Goodnight! :D

(ETA: Click to the pics for full size. It's way too big for my layout//still a noob for HTML. sorry.)

flirts? sorry I don't like them

Flirts? my greatest pet peeves in terms of relationships, or whatever category it can be fitted to. I really hate that trait especially when a girl was the one who's doing it, because it is so uneasy to the eye. And it's so pointless.

Oh, and speaking of flirts, I found this facebook page that I think is very nonsense in all sorts (not that I'm saying it's completely bullshit, but for me, It doesn't make sense at all):

"Hindi ako flirt, malambing lang talaga ako"

I mean WHAT??! being cuddly is different as being a flirt I think. I think being cuddly is more of cute hugging or snuggling or something over friends, while flirting was the act of being cuddly that is crossing the line.

I didn't mean to post this like this, I just find this topic so interesting to discuss. :)




By the way, This would be the last weekend that I'll be able to use the internet/computer after nine pm, because on Tuesday, school will start. Senior year will kick off, and another "season" of our journey will unfold. The walls will be the witness once again, along with the blackboards and the books and the grounds.

And of course some people may come and go, but were still standing. :)

End of Summer

How time flies so fast.

Imagine, my second to the last post insists that summer is about to start and I dunno what to do to be occupied for the next two months, and now In less than a week, I'm going to see my good ole classmates, my friends, the new ones and the cuties (excuse me), but I'm not ready yet.

As far as I terribly missing each of them, I am still not ready for the shit ton of things such as projects, seatworks, wb's/sq's and lectures (heck I don't even know if I could write well ROFL) or maybe even to the newbies. I dunno, just... I'm not ready yet to wake up early, use the computer way less than before, and to refraining from fangirling to have a life.

During the summer, I spend my time watching my bets compete for American Idol, to flail endlessly over Cook (it's a very old story), Have new online buddies, and keeping in touch to my real life buddies through facebook or something. (And hey I saw some of them during the enrollment period! :D)



And towards the end of the summer, I met (not literally) a guy, and he's Leon James DeWyze. :)